Revelation!

Personal revelation this morning.

The answer to the question about when a life begins may not be a fixed point in time. In other words, sperm + egg, blastocyst, zygote, fetus, breathing baby, these terms are shades on the gradient of the transition from not life to life. Maybe a person isn't instantly a life or not a life.

Can't we die slowly? Medicine has created specific criteria to determine whether or not someone is alive, and we may pass from 'passing' to 'failing' instantly, but that doesn't mean that our life didn't end sooner or will end later. For years, life was determined by the presence of breath or a heartbeat, but as it turns out those criteria weren't good indicators of life. Maybe in ten years we'll feel the same about the presence or absence of brain activity. Maybe these principles apply to the beginning of life as well.

Could the question about life be answered by something that isn't life vs. not life? Could life begin slowly? Or simply be outside our capacity to define?

A friend raised this issue with me while I was debating the morality of birth control. She's a smart woman.

The conversation went like this:
Me:So if abortion is wrong because it takes away a potential life (or a present life, depending on your definition), wouldn't birth control be wrong because it takes away the potential for life? If God has a plan for sperm+egg, who's to say He didn't have a plan for the sperm, or the egg? Who am I to decide that God's plans start when the two meet and not when they implant in the uterus or when the neurons begin firing or at any other arbitrarily appointed time? How can I take birth control when I have these thoughts bouncing around in there?
Her: You're missing the point. It's not about life vs. not life. It's about using ALL of the body God gave you to do what glorifies Him. Including your brain to manage your uterus. Disregarding birth control completely isn't evidence of faith, it's just naive. [I'm not sure I paraphrased that very well. Somebody remind me to message her on Monday and get the text of our conversation.]
Me: Touche. Just because I am capable of eating all day every day does not mean it's God's plan for me. Just because I can continue to walk does not mean I keep walking until God sits me down. I can and should make judicious decisions about how (and when) to use what I've been given.

So there's that. I guess I'm less open to QF, and more confident about using birth control. No hormonal options, because I'm still breastfeeding (and even the mini-pill creeps me out while I'm breastfeeding), we have condoms but don't use them because they SUCK, IUD's weird me out because they're stuck in there for so long (plus we plan on another one soon - why bother with getting it put in, etc.) so I guess a diaphragm would be the way to go. But, that too would require me to go in and be fitted and pay for it, plus get spermicide, plus put it in every time.

I've been spoiled with sex without consequence. And blessed with the revelation that my husband and I have been trusted with our fertility, and we wouldn't have been trusted with it if we weren't capable of handling it. I'm not saying our (my) conclusions are absolutely right, or that we can't make wrong decisions, only that it's ok for me to keep thinking and be acting while I think.

Pouting.

No wins. I really have no reason to expect to win every internet giveaway I see, especially since I'm not convinced that they all actually give things away. Still, a girl can dream. And I did. And I was let down. So far.


This is my next dream:



One day my friends, I too will have a Zigo and be pulling a kiddo along behind me. We're talking serious thigh workout. Remember the Thighs of Steel workout tapes from the 80's? This is even better than that PLUS you get to be outside! I can't wait to live somewhere that 'outside' is an option for more than May - September.

I suppose I could be outside now. I'm supposed to be at the gym. Instead, I think I might curl up into a hole. Maybe burst into flames or implode. I think this might be a good morning for yoga. *Ohmmm. Ohmmm.*

I am so excited about this Zigo Leader giveaway.

Seriously. I don't know how many times I've entered the contest, but I am so not done.

Next blog giving it away: Rave and Review is giving away the Zigo Leader. One more perk about this bike is that with the kids up front, you can not only talk to them easier, but you will be more stable with the weight spread out in the front instead of dangling in the back like a traditional trailer. At least, that's what the reviews have said.

Found another blog doing the Zigo Leader giveaway! I'm not sure how many places are doing this, but I'm entering every one I can! The newest blog is SeeryusMama. I'm following her on Twitter, using an RSS Feed, using Google Friend Connect, using Facebook, and I may subscribe by email as well!

Christianity dumbed down

For a long time my husband and I attended churches that spoke to the lowest common denominator. They wrote their sermons for 7 year olds and nonbelievers. This disservice to the church is very common among many denominations. Then, one day, we happened upon a church that was different.

We decided to check out the evening service of a church we often passed. We thought the building looked very old and the architecture was interesting, and we wanted to see the inside. So we went to a service and were surprised to find a pastor preaching challenging, relevant, unsafe sermons.

He wasn't preaching to the lowest common denominator. He held himself (or maybe the elders are responsible for this) to a higher standard and he spoke so that anyone could take something away, but also so that everyone got more. We dug deeper and more thoroughly understood each verse. Sometimes we spent months or even years (well, the church spent years, we weren't there that long) on a very small section of scripture because there was SO MUCH information to unpack. My husband and I were changed, and maybe a bit spoiled.

We moved to Alaska for school, and we have not yet found (or heard of) a church that spoke to us on that level. More accurately, we have not yet found a pastor that spoke to us that way.

We've been to several churches, most were ok. We've also been to two churches with outstanding communities. OUTstanding! Fellowship and grace and love like I've really, really never seen.

I guess we'll keep looking. Or maybe we'll stick with one of the outstanding churches and just listen to podcasts of the more challenging stuff on the side. I don't know.

Oh Zigo, How I want you.

Go Graham Go is another website hosting the Zigo giveaway. This giveaway is serving many purposes for me. One, I get a chance to win an AWESOME bike/stroller/bike trailer/bike+kid pod and two, I'm finding lots of new giveaway blogs to keep my eye on. This site looks like a lot of fun, and as soon as I'm done entering the Zigo giveaway I'm going to come back and see what else Felicia's got for me!

Happy Hour Mom is running this giveaway as well. It's a cute site, and seems to have a lot of different ways to search through their posts, which I like. I can look only at the posts that are relevant to my child instead of wading through a ton of stuff that my daughter wont be interested in for years.

Giving Giveaways another go!

Starting another round of giveaways while my husband makes dinner, and my daughter plays with her annoying little 'piano'. It's a good day.

By the way, I'm pretty sure most of her toys will never get batteries. Just saying.

Found a new giveaway blog, Monkey Tales. They're giving away a Bum Genius Organic One Size All In One diaper (OS AIO). I have a few of these and love them. I'm a little concerned that the rise will be too small as my daughter gets older, but I have two friends who put these on older children (2 year old and almost 3 year old) and they fit those kids. Plus, these diapers have a really high resale value. So as long as I keep them in good shape, I can sell them and get different diapers if these no longer fit. Anyway, the diaper being given away is from Fluff Envy, which has a pretty cool site. Plus, I like the name. =)

The B Keeps Us Honest is giving away an Exergen Temporal Scanner. My midwives have one of these and it is much faster and less hassle than any other thermometer I've ever seen. Right now this would be handy because a feverish baby is not always the stillest of creatures. And I'm not really expecting her to become less active any time soon. This giveaway seems a little more reasonable too, there are 456 ways to win, just a few ways to enter so you can feel you've given yourself a fighting chance without spending all day on it.

I've found the mother of all giveaways. Jollymom (and lots of other sites) are banding together to offer the Zigo. This is a crazy fantastic bike/stroller/jogging stroller/bike trailer deal. You can ride it as a normal bike, a bike pulling a trailer, a bike with the child on the front, you can use it as a jogging stroller, or a regular stroller. And it has a fun look to it! I'm excited. This is something I might even consider buying. Whoa.

The Zigo giveaway is being hosted by babyelandaily as well. You can enter as much as you like. It's such a fun product for a communal giveaway!

Good luck!

Renewal

I feel incredible today. Ready to enter more giveaways, ready to win a few giveaways, ready to keep working on this baby weight (after this bowl of chocolate ice cream!), ready to help Nanook sleep through the night, ready to be her mom again tomorrow, ready to be diligent with my time, ready to relinquish control completely.

Today I'm remembering whose authority I live under. My life is not my own. I am not my own. And that is good.

Psalm 112:7-8
He is not afraid of bad news, his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.

Bring it on.
"If that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain."