The evolution of a previous point

I do not desire obedience from my children.
More to the point, I do not desire simple, obedient children who will grow up to be simple, obedient sheep to whatever shepherd finds them.

I'm not really sure how obedience became the ultimate goal for kids. I want so much more than obedience. I want strong, confident, faithful children who can walk into a forest, see the leaves, see the trees, see the branches, and see the place the forest has in the world. I want children who can make a decision about right and wrong without having to think about what someone might think, or what I would tell them to do. I want them to be able to make those decisions because I've taught them to think for themselves.

Obedience doesn't come close to that.

Obedience teaches submission. In theory, that's a good thing to have from your kids. But only in theory. Why would I want to raise kids who are submissive adults? Even as a wife, I expect my daughter to be much more than simply submissive. Yes, there is a place for submission in a marriage, but not the way people seem to think. How could I expect my (theoretical) sons to lead their families if all I've taught them is submissive obedience? I do not want my children at the mercy of a charismatic leader.

I want to raise disciples. I do not want disciplined (read=punished) kids. I want the discipline my children learn to be the discipline that keeps them hungry for the Word, and the last person to get fired from a job. I want the discipline my children learn to be the discipline that teaches them to sacrifice themselves for others not out of habit but out of love. Out of passion.

I want children who will fight the good fight with me. I don't need them to be my friends, but I do need to know that their presence is making the world a better place. That they're ready and able to evaluate an action, movement, question, etc and determine the what's good and holy in the situation. I want kids who know how to do that because they've been doing it since they were little. That kind of fire comes from being allowed to choose incorrectly. Then learning how to do better next time.

I'm all fired up and preachy tonight, but too tired to finish this post well. Blah!