I feel compelled to consider guardians and godparents for my little Nanook.
The decision is complicated though. The people that immediately come to mind, DAL would be amazing parents. They have huge hearts and an incredible desire to serve God and serve others. They are wonderful, good people. But I'm afraid that naming them would place an undue burden on them financially. Though I have no doubt that they would do whatever is necessary to care for my daughter and any other children we might have, I do not want to jeopardize their own plans and family. Though they would tell me that in a situation in which our children need a home, their family is already jeopardized and permanently altered.
Another option would be CGM. Wonderful people. Close friends with DAL, if that tells you anything. They too are feeling the brunt of this economy, and they too would be wonderful role models, teachers, and parents to my children. We haven't known CGM as long as DAL, but our connection with them has always been strong.
Third option: JLB. Financially secure for the long term, but they approach their faith very differently than DAL or CGM and very differently than Mirus and I. They are amazing, loving parents, and their parenting style is probably much closer to what Mirus and I are trying to do, but their faith is different.
I suppose I could name JLB as guardians with DAL and CGM as godparents, but I wonder how that would logistically work. I wonder if being 2 thousand miles apart would mean that JLB would, realistically, be doing ALL of the parenting and teaching, and that DAL and CGM would be on the fringe, only sometimes able to contribute what they would want to.
I so value when people approach theology directly with God. I want that for Adelaide. I want her to get in the habit of raising a question, studying it in the bible, praying about it, talking it over with people she trusts, and really searching out the answers for herself. I do not believe at all that an inherited faith is what Jesus wants for my daughter, or anyone. I don't want her looking at the Book of Concord when she has a question or just accepting whatever her Synod tells her as truth. When that's how your questions are answered, I'm not sure it's your faith. When you're only spouting what you're told, you are an extension of the Synod's agenda, not an active part of the body of Christ. Maybe I shouldn't use the pronoun 'you', but I'm not sure how else to say it. DAL and CGM approach their faith the way I want Nanook to learn, JLB approaches their faith the other way, which is the way Mirus learned. Obviously it's not horrible or toxic or anything, it's just not what I believe God wants for His children. And as her parent, I feel responsible for ensuring that her faith is nurtured in my absence as it would be in my presence. And so I find myself evaluating the faith and spiritual lives of people I love and trying to judge what would be best for Nanook.
I would love to name NEW, but I'm afraid they would allow my parents contact that I would be entirely uncomfortable with. Granted, I wouldn't be around to feel uncomfortable, but that's not the point.
Another point to be considered: who would be willing to stand up against my parents and extended family? I can't name specifically what battles will need to be fought, but past experience tells me that my childrens' guardians will need to be on guard. Sad.
Also, I'm late. I may be actually planning for two kids and not one. Only a day late, so I'm not taking any action today. If no show by tomorrow, I'll buy a test. Wouldn't it be fun to find out about one baby on Christmas Eve and the other on 4th of July?
