I've been thinking a lot about this lately, and I had another moment of revelation at church today.

Misery may love company, but so does joy, in a different way. Miserable people love other miserable people. Joy, on the other hand, self-replicates within someone AND in others. Joy grows exponentially and without hesitation. But it doesn't come on it's own. You may be happy due to external circumstances, but to experience joy you must choose it. That first act, the beginning, is intentionally. It may sometimes be an incredible feat of the will, and it may even come through tears of grief or pain, but when it comes the joy is consuming.

Today I felt joy. As we sang in the church today I kept thinking of our first day at this church last summer. The sun was pouring in the windows near the ceiling, and the visible light reflected the spirit of light and friendship and joy that drew us in last year. What a day.

"Hold me close
Let your love surround me"

Vanity Plate

HELIVS

I read: HELVIS
Couldn't for the life of me figure out who 'helvis' was. Maybe a female Elvis? Maybe a cross between Helga and Elvis? The plate certainly got me thinking, though not in the way the owner probably intended.

Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

The more vanity I seek, the more I want. When I want to spend money to make something extra special, I find myself wanting to spend more and more money to make other things (everything) special as well. Someday, I hope to really learn that things are special whether I spend money or not.

I don't need to splurge to make vacation special. I don't need to splurge to make myself feel better. I don't need to splurge to make my daughter feel loved.

Some lessons are learned after an upheaval or crisis. Hopefully, this will not be one of them.

A tip for other moms:

If you get amoxicillin on your thumb as you prepare your child's antibiotic prescription, DO NOT LICK IT OFF.

Resist the temptation! It's a terrible idea!

A letter to my daughter:

Over the last week, you have injured yourself several times. My love, you must be careful with yourself. I worked hard to make that perfect little head.

First, I let you play with a pot and wooden spoon. You had great fun, until the pot flipped over (so it was bottom down) and you tried to stand up braced against one side. Pushing down on one side of the rim made the other rim whip up and get you right between the eyes.

Later that night, you were playing on the porch while your dad and I ate, and you grabbed the bike rack that was leaned up against the wall and brought it down on your finger.

Yesterday, you were sleeping so soundly on the couch. I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and heard a *THUMP* and then you crying. You'd rolled right off the couch and onto the floor.

Then, you were playing with a spoon and smacked yourself in the forehead so hard that it left a bruise.

Today, you tried to pull yourself up against a toy and knocked yourself into the corner of a wall. Your first goose egg.

In just a few days, you cut the bridge of your nose, cut your finger, bonked your head, bruised your forehead, and gave yourself a goose egg. Either I'm a terrible mother or you're getting to the age where you're going to start hurting yourself all the time.

Today in Alaska

Sunrise: 5:14
Sunset: 10:24

That's 17 hours and 10 minutes of daylight. We're well on our way to 24 hours of sun!

And I'm well on my way to being in shape again. If I lose 5 more pounds I'll be back to my pre-baby weight. 10-15 after that would be ideal. Friday and Saturday my husband and I CHOWED down on chocolate chip cookies, then tonight I went out and got chocolate ice cream and strawberries to make milkshakes (they were fantastic). I'm not sure I can expect to see anything good on the scale tomorrow. . .

Oh well, as long as I keep moving and feeling better I'm giving myself permission to splurge once in a while. And certain hormonal situations make self-control nearly impossible.

Coming up: SEVERAL things will be checked off the Alaskan To Do List. We're done on campus on the 14th (I think) and after that we're heading off on a whirl-wind adventure. I don't have details or solid plans yet, but I'm thinking Denali, Anchorage, and maybe Kenai. As soon as I get my class finished I'll start making plans for a month long journey around the great white north. Then, we'll head back to Fairbanks to fly to Michigan for my brother's wedding, that will be an almost 3 week vacation, and then we'll come back and be responsible adults with jobs and boring lives.

The last week has been intense. Playdates and work and homework and and and and. . . .

and now I'm watching something on the History Channel about God=alien. I generally try to keep my language clean, but wtf? I love the History Channel. So very weird sometimes.

I have the hardest time remember whether or not I decided to use my daughter's real name on this blog. Argh! [While we're on the subject, go to spokeo.com and search for yourself. Then copy the URL to your page and go to the bottom right and click privacy. From there you can use the URL you copied to remove yourself. It's an online phone book that has everything from your address to pictures to approximate credit score. Too weird.] Well, whatever I call her, she is amazing. Her third tooth is making her look super cute. She also got her first two injuries last night. She knocked herself between the eyes with a pot and pulled something down on her finger. Both spots seem to have broken the skin.

Apparently, DNA is a medium for transferring information, and has enough space to store all the information of an entire society. So we should be looking at our DNA for a message from the aliens that planted/designed/seeded us. Yeah, ok, sure. I'll get right on that.